Last time on We Have Much Experienced Turbulence: A conversation with Wei (The guy who translated the ordeal) , the luggage people sit beside me on the airplane, Ampira offers travel advise, and the safety video starts.
- The captain is speaking. It will be a 2 hr. flight.
- No smoking on board.
- Wei (the translator) is two rows in front of me and across the aisle
- I am resisting the temptation to pick my nose.
- Remember to take off any sharp objects if we have to use the inflatable emergency exit ramps.
- We are moving
- I have now used a good half inch of ink.
- Wei’s seat was not in the upright position. He was scolded by a stewardess.
- This pen and notebook were wise purchases they really helped pass the time.
- Ampira just gave me a piece of candy. I hope they have not been trying to drug me with food all this time.
- Minor delay but we are now taking off. 12 minutes late.
- Guess what? Turbulence!
- My seat is a dud. It keeps gradually going into the recline position.
- At least I have an empty seat to my left. It is a good place to keep my pillow and blanket.
- Fasten seatbelt sign just went off. I hope the turbulence is over.
- Nope. There is some more.
- A little kid just ran down the aisle.
- The kid behind me just spotted the beverage cart and said, “Coffee, water, milk, and some other stuff.”
- I think I will have apple juice. On second thought I will just go with water.
- The girl in front of me just dropped her pen. I handed it back to her. She said thank you in my new language and I understood it.
- I need to learn to say you are welcome.
- I asked for water in my new language and was understood. No pointing necessary.
- This is one tiny cup of water.
- Girl just dropped her pen again and I spilled water on myself picking it up for her.
- Good thing I had water. Good thing it was in a tiny cup.
-This is going to make for one dull blog.
- There goes the beverage cart back to home base.
- A really strange video is playing.
- My pen was made in the U.S.A. Just kidding.
- I just passed on the airplane food. My KFC is holding up nicely.
- Wei has just put on a strange looking orange hat.
- It is going to take forever to type all this up.
- As I have already mentioned. I am positive my presence at this function is not important enough to go through all of this.
- The meal is really stinking up the joint.
- Wei is having tomato juice with his meal.
- Strange video appears to be a series of commercials that keep repeating.
- There goes the food cart back to home base.
- Been in the air almost 1 hour.
- Pen dropping girl’s Mom just covered her up with 2 blankets.
- I hope she is not sick. I touched her germy pen twice.
- People move around a lot more on foreign flights than U.S. flights.
- Pen dropping girls Mom just felt of her forehead.
- 30 minutes until landing.
- I'm kind of sleepy. I could get in a 20 minute power nap.
- OH CRUD HAVE I REALLY BEEN DRUGGED?
Next time on We Have Much Experienced Turbulence. Will Heath contract the dangerous pen drop fever? Will there be an attempt to harvest his organs? Will he find the illusive shuttle to his hotel? And if so What awaits him there?
Question of the day. For a good swift kick in the seat of the pants by your Mother. Describe the strangest stranger from whom you have ever taken candy.
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4 comments:
laughing out loud! definitely the makings of a sitcom.
This is not a taking candy story, but instead a story of me listening to my mom and not talking to strangers. My first day of kindergarten I left the classroom to go to the "bathroom." Instead of actually going there I went to stand in front of the office because I was done with school and thats where my mom had told me to wait for my sister to come and get me. I was told not to speak to strangers and I wouldnt talk to any of the office personnel. They had to call over the intercom to find out where I belonged. I think you should have listened to your mother more!
-Toni
I remember a family reunion when you and Heather were about 4 &5, a great uncle had y'all backed up against the wall, your hands behind you and shaking your heads-no! He was trying to give you a piece of candy, he called me over there and told me to tell you that he wasn't a stranger...What happened to that?
an old man with dementia in my family group used to give us unwrapped peppermint candy from his lint-filled pockets every sunday. i swear...one time he ran out, so he literally took a piece out of his mouth and handed it to me. he was no stranger, but i did take it and run away crying to my mommy!
take care of yourself and know you are being lifted up daily!
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