A Road Fraught With Peril

It is my privilege to get to travel out of the city from time to time. The road that I travel is very curvy and roughly 10 miles. To make this trip, one must catch a gray van that holds anywhere between 6 and ten people depending on how stackable the passengers on bottom are. I have made this round trip 3 or four times now, and every trip brings a new sight to behold.

The first trip, I learned that passing in a blind curve is not only possible but expected. We all survived. The gray van drivers are pretty aggressive and speed is a badge of honor. Unfortunately, there are always obstacles that present the necessity of applying brakes in what is always a startling fashion.

Things that I now expect to be in the road are: Garbage trucks that can only go 2 miles an hour uphill, donkeys, oxen, extremely skinny cows, piles of lumber, burning trash, people, a funeral procession (coffin suspended between bamboo poles and carried by about 20 men), old women on motorcycles, and my personal favorite a man herding about 200 ducks down the road.

This was among the most amazing things I have ever seen. Duck is very popular here, and this was obviously a duck farmer.

I momentarily interrupt this blog to bring you the latest on the lunch I just had. The only thing I recognized was rice. There were strips of green translucent something or other. As best I could discern, it grows in fields somewhat like wheat, but that was through some 3rd language charades so who knows. Then there was the scary stuff. It was white and looked like the inside of a gourd sponge. When I asked the cooks what it was, they shrugged their shoulders. That did not fill me with confidence. I ate the first piece and was not impressed. As I was the last one finished and the room was empty, I discretely tossed the second piece out the opened window. Don’t judge, you would have done the same thing.

Back to the ducks. This guy really had all his ducks in a row, about ten rows as a matter of fact. It looked like a yellow feathered army marching in step in what was unfortunately our lane of the highway. Brakes were applied quickly and firmly. No ducks, passengers, or duck farmers were harmed.

“You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek. But first... first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm. You shall see thangs, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... a cow... on the roof of a cotton house, ha. And, oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.”

Five extra points and a gold star to whoever leaves the first comment that correctly identifies the source of the above quote.