Hijacked: The Miss Happy Zhong Story

Let me begin by explaining that when properly motivated, one can squeeze two days worth of travel and work into one day. Our motivation was to avoid sleeping in "Fort Night" (A gopher rat infested building from a previous blog). I will spare you the details, but a friend and I covered an amazing amount of ground accomplishing everything on our to do list,sat in road construction, visited 5 different families, bought a pickup truck bed full of cabbage, ate pork prepared 6 different ways, drove 24 kilometers further than necessary on a cobblestone road, and still decided to drive the 4 hours back home rather than sleep with the ROUS's.

Around 10 kilometers before we were back home at around 1:45 a.m. we are driving along and all of the sudden there is this woman in the middle of the road. My friend who is driving starts to drive around her when she starts blocking the road. We were all the way over in the wrong side of the road when we had to come to a near complete stop. I say near complete stop because she was in the back seat before we ever stopped rolling. She begins laughing hysterically and telling her tale which included information about friends, drinking, and being left behind.

In a moment of shock at what was happening, the best my friend and I could do was agree that it looked like she would be riding with us into town. It was after we started moving again that things got awkward. She told us her name was Miss Happy Zhong and started talking non stop. She was sitting right behind me when I began to feel her hand rubbing my left elbow. I moved my arm and she sticks her hand between the two front seats. I was not sure where the hand was going, but I just instinctively grabbed it and made like I was shaking hands. Seconds later her other hand is on my right shoulder. I move forward which made matters worse. I decided the best thing to do was just sit still, look forward and keep one hand on my wallet and the other on my passport. She now has one hand rubbing my left elbow and the other rubbing my right shoulder. Then she asks for phone numbers. My friend asks if I am going to give her mine to which I respond, "No Chance." We get her to where she needs to go and she asked us either if we drink or if we wanted to have a drink but either way the answer was no and we drove away.

There was a moment of concern over whether or not she might have tried to take any stuff from our bags that were in the back seat, but then I realized that I knew were both of her hands were for most of the drive.

The chorus to a Kenny Rogers song goes like this:

So love your neighbor as yourself
Don't use money to measure wealth
Trust in God but lock your door
Buy low sell high and slow dance more

Sorry Kenny. I thought you were singing about the door to your house. I will now apply this to car doors as well.

? of the day for a drunken passenger, Who knows what a ROUS is?